Charisma of woman – Madalakki

It was one busy morning; my mom was cooking a scrumptious breakfast before we all arrived. We three sisters along with our families were to be there for our madalakki that evening. While, my father was busy tying the torana (A strand of fresh mango leaves tied to the main entrance of the house marking an auspicious event) he heard the phone ringing and hurried towards the landline;

He said “Hello (in a loud tone), Yaaru (who is this)?”

from the other end “Sir, naanu Kumara, ammavaru hoova helidru, correct aagi 3 gante ge tarteeni anta helokke maadde” (Sir, its me kumara, madam had told to get flowers, please let her know that I will bring exactly at 3’O clock). My mom was very particular to have fresh flowers all the time.

My dad said “aaytu” (Ok) and hung up.

Meanwhile, my mom from the kitchen turning the blender off, checked with my dad who it was, and she nodded and got back to her work quickly. She was making hoorana (the sweet toor dal dumpling) for obattu (a traditional Indian sweet).

After raising three daughters, madalakki was a big deal to my parents. They used to plan much ahead as three families had to be accommodated. They always wanted this occasion to be celebrated together. She used to cook our favorite breakfast, ganji dosa and pitakapappu, it was the curry made from season’s first lilva beans and one could easily have 5-6 dosas and a complete south Indian thali all by herself.

An insight of madalakki (in Kannada)/ vadibeeyam (in Telugu) is a traditional custom, where the married woman visits her parents every three/five years. Its not that, she can’t visit in between, this custom has its own meaning and use. It goes back to the olden days, once a girl gets married, she goes to her husbands’ home and she used to rarely get a chance to visit her parents, because of distance, transport or other conditions. This was an excuse to get her back to her parent’s home for a few days. Later She was sent home with a sack with rice, turmeric- vermillion, coconuts, fruits, bangles, beetle leaves, saree and other items which are considered auspicious. Madilu meaning lap, akki meaning rice, hence the name madalakki. (The sack like shape made from her saree pallo, where rice and other items were placed.) New clothes were presented to her husband and kids. This custom is considered very emotional for the mother to send her daughter back to her husband’s house and this moment is often very sentimental and close to a married women’s heart.

My younger sister’s family arrived first and within an hour, we all were there, and we got busy chatting and serving. The happiness in my dad’s face was something I never fail to notice on these occasions. Our house looked happy and contented.

 After breakfast, all the men and the kids were planning for a movie and we sisters just let them go. My dad chose to stay back, meanwhile my mom got coffee for all of us and for me in my favorite red mug and my sisters started teasing me said you are her loving daughter. I was grinning with pride 😊

My mom then showed us what she had got for us, usually its sarees but this time she had got us gold ornaments and she seemed so happy to keep this a surprise for us. Though we all exclaimed, why had they had to spend much. She said, parents house for a girl, is till her mom is alive and forced us to accept it. This moment is something that I can never forget.

Few hours later, we all ate an exuberant meal and it was time for madalakki. My grandparents who stayed close by arrived, few women from the neighborhood were also invited. It was a festival like event. My father-in-law made sure he captured all the pictures of the arrangements, guests and of course us. My mom was checking again and again, if we were all ready.  She said, come soon all the guests have arrived.

She had it arranged perfectly with three decorated wooden planks little away from each other, so that we could have our kids sit next to us. The madalakki items, sweets, savories, flowers for each one of us were placed in front of us. My daughter was in a questioning spree and my mom made sure she answered each one of them so patiently. Meanwhile, my grandmother helped to complete the madalakki procedure, I heard my grandfather say, “It’s not how big the house is, its how happy the house is with daughters”, I smiled believing, I could freeze this moment for ever.

“A mother holds her children’s hands for a while, their hearts forever”

At this timeline, we are left to cherish these memories.

Mom…

Your life was a blessing, your memory a treasure…

You are loved beyond words and missed beyond measure….