Wish my phone rings one last time

It was mid-March, one hot and sunny afternoon, she could barely sit in an auto-rickshaw though It was just few miles from away. She was trying to clasp on to the rod with her left hand and hold her belly with the other. She was collapsing with the lack of sleep from a few nights. Although, she was exhausted, she said to herself, “I am going to do this, after all this is what I wished for”. Every bump in the road was a terrifying, back of her mind she just prayed that all went well.

On reaching the hospital, she saw so many people, blood and illnesses. She immediately demanded for a special ward. Yet, it was tough on the pockets, my dad immediately agreed. All he wanted was to make her comfortable. With a labor of almost 8 plus hours, she got to see me. Thought, I had to disappoint her, she smiled like it was her first child. She had wished for a boy, though the two girls were her precious ones.  

Days passed, I was growing older. Since I was the third child, she had to help herself with all the chores. My sisters used to help her take care of me. Many of them, who visited us were trying to console her saying it’s alright to have another girl’, she simply nodded, and dint let the conversation breed.  My mother was one strong lady with the heart as soft as butter. She was very energetic and persuasive, anybody who came home weren’t left empty handed. She had inherited this richness from her Paternal family. She was very organized, neat and did almost everything by herself.  

Years passed, her only intention was to keep the girls happy. We celebrated birthdays, went to movies, attended functions, cousins came over for vacations, like any other happy family. I still remember the days, when she fell sick and took us almost a year to figure the cause and she had to undergo a very major operation. Her recovery took many years. Meanwhile, she managed both my sister’s wedding in a grandeur.

Amidst all these life changing events, she never missed to make my birthday special every year.  She made sure, I buy a new dress, cooked food for all my friends for the party, buy return gifts and make sure I don’t miss a birthday present. This continued for decades, all my school, college, working days and after marriage.

Today, when I get to celebrate my birthday without her, there is a profound sadness in me. I miss the 11AM phone calls, the tasty pergu kodballu, the packages of every single powders and pickles, the love, the warmth, the small gifts she used to save for me. The list does not stop. Even after my wedding, she used to check with me, if had got a new dress, what were our plans, If I could visit her. Gone are those days, never thought these could become memories so soon.

Amma, wherever you are I will pray that you are happy and will proudly walk in your footsteps.

I still wish, my phone rings with your name to wish me. You cannot be replaced. I miss you every single minute.