Wish it lasted more than a spoon..

It was a usual morning on a school day, I was busy making breakfast. Habitually, it was my daughter’s choice to pick, she had chosen sandwich for lunch and fruits for snack. These easy picks got me snooze my alarm twice. I was already running late, and in this hustle, I figured I was out of bread. Swearing myself, not knowing what to pack for lunch, I opened the refrigerator to check for leftovers and I was bewildered. I spotted a Container in the corner, I immediately made way to get that out. Looking at the container, I smiled and after I opened the lid, I almost dropped an invisible tear. It was the last few of my MOM MADE Puliyogare gojju (tamarind, jaggery and spices cooked which works as an instant mix to go with rice).

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At this point, there were so many memories flashing all over. It was in my last India visit; she had given it to me. She had made it in such a way, that it could be preserved for long if refrigerated. I recall, it was a day before my flight, she made it with utmost care and packed it in a bigger container than usual and said “I don’t know when you will come next, at least you can use it a bit longer”.  I assured her, I would visit her shortly and she can make it again. That moment, I dint imagine the visit to be that shorter and without her.

Since my wedding, she had been giving me all the home-made masalas including the rasam powder, chutney powder, pickles of various kinds and what not. I was fortunate enough to relish those and now looking at the last serve from the container I felt so dejected. I wish she came back not only because she could make these for me but to hug me tight and never leave me.

Since the time, she got to know we were moving to the Unites States, she made sure she gave me everything that I needed here. She was so sure to not let even a single thing missed out. If I had to name it, I could go pages. Over the time, if I mentioned anything that I needed here, she would make sure it reaches me, be it the courier or through friends who were visiting here. My friends here always told me; I get the maximum number of couriers from back home. Who could do it, other than my MOM?

Few days back, my dad called me to tell that my MOM had conserved few things for me in a box which they found in her cupboard. I’m sure those are the things I would have mentioned in our extended conversations which wasn’t accessible here. Who would even care so much now?

There were so many instances, where I would call her to ask her a recipe and ask her to tell me briefly and hung up immediately.  Promptly she called the next day to check, if it turned out good and tell me the essential measurements to make it better. Anything and everything, I used to tell her, and she would politely listen. Our telephone conversations were always long and the feeling after I hung up was something, I fall short to describe. Who would even talk to me, giving utmost importance?

Many a times, I have neglected her calls telling myself busy, I regret every bit of it. For those who can still receive a call from your Mom, don’t take it for granted, there are many of us who can never see ‘MOM calling’ flashing on their phones. Answer it every chance you get and tell how much you lover her, even when she’s getting on your last nerve because you will never know when it will be your last call.

I continued to pack the lunch box and my daughter wasn’t aware she did not take sandwich for lunch. As usual I was waiting for her at the bus stop to pick her up and she ran towards me and hugged me. She was so excited to tell me, that she loved her lunch and asked me was it ‘Ammaamma’ (grandmother) who had made it and could if she have more of it? I was short of words, I told her ‘Yes, definitely she could’. That joy on both our faces had so much more to tell. That evening, she was busy writing something in her room and I dint pay attention. She came back to me with this letter to her grandmother, that gave me happy tears;

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She had mentioned my niece and nephew too. That doodling melted my heart, walker for my mom was the sweetest.

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Somethings are more precious because they don’t last long.

“Although I cannot hear her voice or see her smile,

My MOM walks besides me still just as she did before.

She listens to my stories and wipes my tears;

She wraps her arms around me and understands my fears.

It’s just she isn’t visible to see with human eye,

But talks to me in silence and I can hear her in my heart.

She left her human body, but our souls will never part.”

There’s no moment that passes by without thinking of you. If angels at the heaven hear me, I truly wish they send you back.

Happy Mother’s Day Amma.